明福托梦 I dreamt of Teoh Beng Hock (updated with english version)

我梦见明福。他静静地望著我。

我说：到底是意外，自寻，或是冤情？

他没有反应。

我问：有人说，你三点半已是自由身，你却故意逗留，因要休息。那是真的吗？是不是你家的床很不舒服？

明福不说话。

我又问：你好像也没通知任何亲友你暂时留下而不回。难道你不知道他们都正在为你担心吗？

明福好像转身要离去。你別走呀！他又留下了。

我这些听闻是真的吗？我可以相信吗？他还是没话。

你说话呀？

隔了一会儿，明福开口了：去年圣诞节你孩子得到的礼物，我听说是圣诞老人从烟囱降下来送的。那是真的吗？明福莫名其妙地问我。

我还来不及回答，明福又说：我已安排好隔天去註册结婚。我本来正盼望著將来，美好的將来。
我追问：听说你的汽车就在楼下，为甚么你不马上驾车回家休息？家不是最温暖的吗？

明福又不理我了。
告诉我呀！我是律师，我会替你公佈真相！那话一出口，我就知道愚蠢了。难道律师就能告诉大家：真相是如此如此，而这是死者托梦於我的？

为了弥补我的愚昧，我赶紧说：给我一点暗示吧，让我知道从何著手。我答应你我会尽力去发掘真相的。

明福反而突然问我：每一个人的生命都是宝贵的吗？为甚么宝贵？

当然宝贵呀！人生活著就是要维持生命，珍惜生命嘛。
明福不理我在措手不及下的回答，而接著告诉我：生命宝贵是因为每一人在他短短的路程中都有许多使命。我的使命结束了。你的，还有千千万万马来西亚人民的，还要继续。揭开这个谜是你们的使命之一。
解谜之后还有许多行动等待你们去做呢。

我又衝动及愚蠢地说：无论我们做甚么都无法让你回生呀！
明福望著我，许久，许久后才慢慢地说：你以为以后不会有更多，更多的明福吗？他们怎么办？你们又怎么办？记住，自扫门前雪为因，孤身遭火困是果。
我无言相对。我已惭愧。

明福转身，用手指的血在白墙上写了一堆血字，然后渐渐离去：

酌血问苍天
情义未弃人世间
若眾人借此冤为苦海筑边
方不虚！

那一刻我惊醒，发觉冒了一身冷汗。

《星洲日报》杨映波

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I dreamt of Teoh Beng Hock. He was looking at me, silently.

I whispered: “Was it an accident, suicide, manslaughter or murder?”

There was no response.

I asked: “Some say that you were free by half past three, but you chose to stay behind in order to rest. Is this true? Is it because your bed at home is not comfortable?”

Beng Hock said nothing.

I asked again: “It appears that you did not even notify anyone that you were free to go but opted to stay behind instead. Did you not know that all your loved ones and your friends were worried about you?”

Half turning, Beng Hock appeared to be moving away. “Please don’t go!”

I pleaded. He stayed.

“Are the things I hear true? Should I believe them?”

He remained silent.

“Say something, please?”

After a pause, Beng Hock finally spoke. Out of the blue he asked me: “The presents your kids got last Christmas, I am told that they were brought by Santa Claus who came down your chimney. Is that true?”

Before I could answer, Beng Hock spoke again: “You know, I had made arrangements to register my marriage the next day. I was looking forward to a good family life.”

I stubbornly persisted: “I heard that you had your car with you that night. Why did you not drive home immediately? Isn’t home the best place to rest?”

Beng Hock ignored me again.

“Do tell me! I am a lawyer. I will disclose the whole truth on your behalf!”

As soon as I said it, I realised how silly I sounded. Surely I cannot possibly tell the world: that the truth is such and such, and I know it because the deceased came to me in my dream and told me so!

In embarrassment I quickly added: “Please give me a hint, let me know where to start looking. I promise that I will do what I can to uncover the whole truth.”

Instead of responding, Beng Hock suddenly asked me: “Is every single life precious? Why is it precious?”

“Of course every life is precious! To live is obviously about preserving life, treasuring life.”

Beng Hock did not bother about my reply, and carried on: “Every life is precious because each of us has our own mission during our brief stay. Mine has just ended. Yours and those of millions of other

Malaysians are continuing. One of your missions is to unearth the truth about my death, and then to act upon the uncovered truth.”

Rather hastily I replied: “But what is the point when whatever we do can never bring you back?”

He looked at me for some time, before slowly speaking: “Do you not think there will be many others who would suffer the same fate in the future if nothing is done? Whom can they turn to for help? Whom will

you turn to if you become the target? Remember this, he who bothers only about his own turf will be buried alone in it when the grass catches fire.”

I had no reply to offer. I was overcome with shame.

Beng Hock turned and, with the blood on his finger, wrote a few lines on the white wall, before gradually disappearing:

I raised my glass of blood and asked Him above

If the world has not abandoned justice and love

Let women and men rise where I have fallen

And act to halt the spread of these corrupt pollens

Then my death will not be in vain!

At that moment I awoke, soaked in cold sweat, outraged and ashamed. — mysinchew.com